Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
