if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
