all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
