I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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