is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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