She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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