And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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