When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
