he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
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man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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