i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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