you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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