i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
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How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
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Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize