Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
