we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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