You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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