Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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