All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm having to shit out rocks
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