I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
