Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
