there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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