There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
