I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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