Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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