it was like eating out sand paper
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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