**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
