They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
