She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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