Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
