He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
