She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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