Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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