do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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