is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
