she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This gyro tastes like lonliness
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
