hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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