high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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