Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize