I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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