don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
