please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
