I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
