If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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