she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
