I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
