i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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