he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
