Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
