Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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