Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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