There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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