you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
