someone threw a dead crab at me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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