i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
