I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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