I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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