How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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