My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
