I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize