We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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