Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
