Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d. http://tfl.nu/ncdi
  Replies (12) Good night (659) Bad night (1885)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break. http://tfl.nu/c9vz
  Replies (34) Good night (5047) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom. http://tfl.nu/yu7b
  Replies (23) Good night (7006) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5
  Replies (8) Good night (5763) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes? http://tfl.nu/tg6b
  Replies (6) Good night (2468) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester http://tfl.nu/csr6
  Replies (13) Good night (1605) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this... http://tfl.nu/zlco
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk. http://tfl.nu/5c91
  Replies (11) Good night (1201) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again http://tfl.nu/wayk
  Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary http://tfl.nu/znga
  Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked. http://tfl.nu/4t3j
  Replies (9) Good night (1305) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me http://tfl.nu/jsiz
  Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out? http://tfl.nu/ne0t
  Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!" http://tfl.nu/6320
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo... http://tfl.nu/eosy
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (254)

Randomize