loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.