Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside http://tfl.nu/pna6
  Replies (82) Good night (8157) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!" http://tfl.nu/p213
  Replies (23) Good night (1410) Bad night (7710)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays. http://tfl.nu/hsxj
  Replies (12) Good night (852) Bad night (3763)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  oh, you finally did the dishes then?

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  No, bought new ones.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up
  Replies (48) Good night (7642) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/j5l8
  Replies (13) Good night (8358) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen. http://tfl.nu/9jnz
  Replies (19) Good night (5258) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. http://tfl.nu/q1ic
  Replies (27) Good night (5195) Bad night (1921)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it http://tfl.nu/pd6c
  Replies (11) Good night (2188) Bad night (3066)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van http://tfl.nu/z2ov
  Replies (2) Good night (2101) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/v5ij
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad http://tfl.nu/1ob8
  Replies (3) Good night (1829) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it. http://tfl.nu/yx1o
  Replies (4) Good night (756) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party http://tfl.nu/crsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1778) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her. http://tfl.nu/tkh4
  Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol http://tfl.nu/5mb9
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (741)

Randomize