how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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