..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
