Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?