Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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