thus making me awesome and them whores
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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