I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize