She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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