in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
