i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
